I’m really doing this.
In a week from today I won’t be here. I won’t be sitting on my nice, comfy couch with my family. No, a week from today I’ll be in Chicago, getting trained to be my team’s treasurer and getting ready to leave when the World Race staff tells us to hop on a plane to the Dominican Republic!
My brain is running a million miles a minute.
I can’t keep anything straight anymore.
I have my stuff piled in my room, and right now, all I can hope and pray is that it’s the right stuff (and that it all fits into my 60 liter backpack)! It’s going to be a miracle if it does!
I’ve been trying to snag as much wisdom from former World Racers as I can, but my brain is on overload and nothing computes anymore. So…if you see me running around like I’m crazy, or if I just give you a weird response or look at you with glazed eyes and a dazed expression in response to something you say to me or ask me, don’t worry. Hehe. I’m alright, I’m not REALLY going crazy, but my head does literally feel like it could fall off sometimes ;-).
I am laughing just writing that last paragraph, because for those of you who have seen me in the past couple of weeks, you have experienced this crazy, silly, frazzled, forgetful Jess and you have laughed with me and given me lots of grace. For that, I thank you all :).
Trying to process everything while my brain is on overload doesn’t exactly work well. I would guess that many of you former World Racers know exactly what I’m talking about, that all of the squads leaving in September can relate, and that you future World Racers will understand this very soon.
I’m experiencing “Pre-World-Race-Syndrome.”
I have never had symptoms like this before, so it must be the World Race ;-).
(This is when the voice in my head turns silly and I have a really hard time not laughing out loud. Imagine the voice-over at the end of the commercial with all of the side effects.)
Not sleeping well? Having a hard time thinking? Becoming forgetful? Not sure where you are at the moment or what you’re supposed to be doing? Going a little crazy and wondering how it’s all going to happen?
It’s okay. These symptoms will pass. At least I think so ;-).
From what I’ve been told and assured, it’s normal.
I’ve just had to laugh at myself and give myself lots of breaks.
I’m literally going to throw everything (somehow) into my backpack, walk out my door next Tuesday and say goodbye to everyone, walk onto the plane to Chicago, meet up with my J Squad family, and it’s going to be okay.
Want to know how I know?
God is with me. He has told me time after time again. Whether I feel it or not, or am confident or not, it’s the absolute truth. It’s not just me saying it to make myself feel better. He’s called me. He’ll equip me. He’s going to use me. Wow. I’m going to the nations, guys! I’m REALLY going! I’m REALLY doing what I’ve wanted to do for SO long! I’m going! It’s crazy. No wonder my brain can’t compute anymore. All the emotions of leaving + all of the emotions of saying “see you later” + all of the emotions of knowing that it’s not forever + all of the unknowns = A JUMBLED MESS.
And it’s okay.
I’m leaving Minnesota, my home, my family, my friends, my church, my job, my comforts.
Do it, Lord!! I just want to be a part of what you want me to be a part of. It’s all about the people we’re going to, that they know the love of Jesus the way I know it.
Jesus is SO GOOD.
He loves YOU sooooo much.
I pray you truly know, understand, and realize that today.
Soak it in.
Jesus died for you. Oh how He loves you!
That’s why I’m going, pure and simple. So that those we go to can know His great love, too.
It’s going to be hard and full of crazy.
But it’s too great not to share.
Let’s do it, Lord! 🙂