It’s funny. I feel like I’m being initiated into the whole “being away from home” scenario that I will experience on The World Race. I’ve experienced it plenty of times before, but this is different because I’m watching my friends’ 2 boys, and not only is it a “new” place, but it’s placing a lot of responsibility on my shoulders! Not that I can’t handle it, but I always get this weird feeling when I’m experiencing something new. It’s kind of a melancholy, wistful feeling – it’s really hard to explain! I’m “homesick” and I’m only a few miles away from my house. I’m staying at my friends’ house, and it’s been really fun to hang out with the boys and just chillax, play video games, watch some Netflix, and make sure they do their homework and don’t eat everything in the house in 1 day. Haha!!! 😛
And the reason is because I have The World Race in my future.
I’m anticipating it. I know I’m going to be homesick.
I know I’m going to be out of my element and just plain freaked out.
I know I’m going to have “I don’t want anything to do with this anymore” moments.
I know I’m going to want to sit curled up in a corner and wish to be back home.
But I also know it’s going to be amazing, life-changing, awesome, exhilarating, and just plain cool.
I can’t wait to see how God moves in my life and the lives of every single fellow World Racer on my squad, how He uses us – I can’t wait to experience the Holy Spirit more deeply and live in a culture of constant worship and prayer. It’s something that I’ve desired for a long time.
But it will be different. And it won’t be convenient. It’s going to be hard to maintain my desired appearance, to do my hair the way I want, to wear the exact outfit I want, it’s just plain not going to happen and…
…I’m going to have to get over myself and just trust that how I feel that I look
is not how others perceive me and not at all how God sees me.
[ Hillary, yes, I did steal this from your computer, tehe, but it’s for a good cause and I love it too much not to post it! 😛 ]
So. Things I’m realizing.
- I am fully capable of this. I can do this. The Lord is my strength, and even when I don’t feel it, He is with me and is equipping me.
- I’m scared of responsibility, but I can do it with Jesus.
- I’m scared of leading, but my Heavenly Father has promised He’d lead me and speak through me.
- I’m scared to leave everything I know, yet somehow there’s a thrill because of Jesus and I know with Him that He will sustain me.
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