This month, I had to make a choice. I had to choose whether to trust in the Lord, or not.
To be honest, after the Lord came through for us this past travel day, getting us from Asia to Africa, I thought I trusted Him enough. I saw Him come through for us in multiple ways and I thought I got it. But I didn’t get it at all.
I switched gears upon getting to our ministry in Singida. We (me and my trusty logistics partners, Jaclyn & Anthony!) began to talk about our travel at the end of the month to Malawi, where our whole squad will relax for a few days and debrief from the last couple months. As I began to plan for the next travel day, I took back the trust that I had put in the Lord. My entire body was tense with leftover effects from travel day. I got myself sick with a lingering cold that turned into a sinus infection.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me.
To be honest, I was pissed off at the world for a few days.
I couldn’t go to ministry and play with the kids, because I was too exhausted.
I would go to Internet and research hostels and transportation options, but I would come back more worn out—I was taking everything on myself.
I said I trusted God, but I didn’t put it into action.
When He convicted me of it, I had to repent multiple times within the same 24-hour span.
I read one of my favorite Psalms that morning: Psalm 37.
I always seem to find new nuggets of wisdom packed into this psalm, and this time was no different.
Verse 8 screamed at me, saying, “Do not fret—it leads only to evil.”
Fret leads to anxiety, worry, stress and frustration.
It wrecks peace.
It STEALS joy.
It stifles our ability to rest.
And it also leaves no room for the Lord to move in mighty ways, as He loves to do.
So that day, I had to make a choice. I could keep trying to do it on my own strength, or I could lay down my cares, my concerns, my stress, my anxiety, my frustration, my inability—I could lay all these things down at the foot of the cross.
I chose to do so. And after I did that, I couldn’t believe how free I felt.
It was as if the Lord completely switched my stressed out brain with a new one.
He gave me a new heart in that moment as well.
these things which lead only to evil,
into reliance and trust in Him.
I started to expectantly wait to see how He was going to work everything out for His glory. And wow did He come through! All of the sudden, once I gave everything to Him, things started to get easier and they just HAPPENED. Things fell into place.
It might seem like a nonchalant, care-free, “no problem, Mon” philosophy.
But hey, that’s kinda true. 🙂
Jesus wants to take our burdens from us.
He already took our sins from us when He died for us on the cross.
I think the least we can do is trust Him so implicitly
that we don’t fret when things cross our path that we cannot handle on our own.
We simply turn to Him and trust that He knows,
He’s going to come through,
and He’s standing RIGHT THERE,
right next to you and me,
holding our hands and carrying us when we need to be carried.
When we’re too exhausted to take one more step,
He’ll lift us up,
settle us onto His back
(sling style like the women carry their children here in Africa),
and He’ll carry us.
100% guarantee. God’s got this. He’s got you. And man, does He ever love YOU!