Since finding out about the World Race in July and finally becoming accepted and committing to the September 2012 Route 2 in December 2011, my world has changed.
Before, I was just going about life as normal. Waiting for something, but not sure what. Knowing more was out there. Knowing it was coming, but not sure when. The uncertainty sometimes has a way of getting to you, either in frustration because whatever change is coming isn’t coming soon enough, or anxiety because you can sense change coming but you have no idea what to expect or when to expect it.
It’s funny. I always seem to find myself in a weird mix between excitement for the future and that’s all I want to think about, to avoiding any thought of it and simply focusing on today, while ignoring what’s ahead for a bit.
There’s something wrong with both of those approaches.
For instance, I love seeing the new people that keep getting added to my Route. These are my future fellow World Racers and will be the people I will do life with for almost an entire year. This is intimidating and scary and exciting and fun all at the same time. It’s intimidating to build new relationships, yet there’s something super fun and refreshing and exciting about it, too. But that can’t be all I focus on. I have incredible, life-giving relationships here at home that I can’t forget about, and nothing in me ever wants to forget about these amazing people in my life. But sometimes I can also get carried away and not want to change, not want to grow anymore, just want to be with my friends and my normal life and not give myself room to invite others in. I’m comfortable with my friends. We know each other. My girlfriends are absolutely amazing and they know all of my weird little quirks (and they actually think they’re cute or hilarious, too!). Haha!
Part of me is scared to begin new relationships, because, yeah, it means “starting all over again.” But…it’s something I’m really excited about, because with every new friendship built, that means someone is teaching me something new about who God is, how He loves, how He works, and He will begin to work inside both of us through the relationship that we build with each other. And with each new friend, that’s a new opportunity. So it’s the most amazing thing, friendship. Both long-time and brand-new, it’s really, really good.
I guess the good things wouldn’t really be so good if they were easy or weren’t a little scary or intimidating at first. Once you get past the surface and really start delving into who the other person is, it’s like a gift unwrapped.
God gave us friendship for a reason. So to my future World Racers, I know we all have our own reservations and are a little scared and intimidated to build new relationships, yet at the same time, I also know that we’re all put here together for a reason and that we already share a common bond. God is readying our hearts for each other. It’s going to be really, really good. I can’t wait to get to know each of you. 🙂
And to my “current” friends, haha…I am SO glad, thankful, grateful, relieved that you are in my life. God has given each of you to me as a gift. Your friendship is important to me, and being gone for 11 months will not change that. Even if I make 100 new solid friendships on this trip, you will not lose your place in my heart. You’re embedded there. I love you guys, much, much more than I could ever say out loud.