I choose to believe

Here in Malawi, I’ve been going through a constant cycle of brokenness.
It’s mostly personal brokenness.

It’s shown itself in a number of ways, through:

  • Sickness: allergies that I never experience at home are showing their face full-blown.
  • Homesickness: like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
  • Frustration with the sickness/homesickness.
  • Begging God to show Himself.
  • Finding myself wondering why I’m here again…why is it that I came on the Race?
  • Experiencing my 7th new culture…and realizing, honestly, that I’m quite tired of constantly having to adjust to a new language, a new way of doing things, a different people every 3-4 weeks.

I also realize it’s a gift from God to get to experience these things.

I’ve been constantly dialoguing with God over the past few weeks.
My trust has been challenged and stretched…
…to even greater points than it was in Tanzania.

Yet I am slowly beginning to see the beauty in this experience.
I am discovering why,
even despite my frustration,
it is necessary for me to experience these things here.

Annie, Amanda and I have been teamed together with our translator Leonard on Tuesdays and Thursdays, going door-to-door meeting people, telling them about Jesus, asking them if they need encouragement and if we can pray for them.

I’m starting to love praying for people.
It’s something I was insecure about at the start of the Race.
It’s something the Lord has been growing and challenging me in constantly.
It’s something I’m definitely still learning.

I love asking God to reveal Himself to each person we pray for.
I love the knowing that comes from being confident in Christ.
That while I most likely won’t see it, that God is faithful and will work in incredible ways in their lives.

By praying for people, my faith is being renewed.

I’m also realizing again that this is the reason I came:
to share the love of Jesus with everyone we meet.

Today we prayed for healing multiple times over many women and children, for heart problems, for malaria complications, for headaches, for bloated bellies and malnutrition.

We’ve claimed wholeness and healing in the name of Jesus.
And each time we pray, I’m expectant.
I’m just waiting for God to heal them.

And you know what?

I still have yet to see God physically answer that prayer in front of my very eyes.
I still have yet to actually see the miracles that I know He can do.

But I know that He will do it.
I’ve felt Him moving.
Breaking strongholds.
Increasing faith.

There is beauty in a mother’s faith that God will heal her child.

There is power in simple trust.

It’s hard, because I don’t actually see the healing…
…and it’s one thing that by this point on the Race, I thought I would have seen.
It’s something I long for, to actually see someone healed before my eyes.
But…I also think it’s enough just to know,
and to have assurance,
that the Lord will complete His work in them.

So today,
despite not seeing with my physical eyes,
I choose faith.

I choose to believe.

Your thoughts would look GOOD here :)