Honestly, Malawi!

…I don’t really want to be here. It’s not your fault. You’re a beautiful country. Your people are friendly and incredibly hospitable. You are living up to your name, “The Warm Heart of Africa.” I love how you worship God and how you dance with such joy for Him.

Right now, I’m struggling to be present here.
My brain and heart want to jump right to next month when we get to be in Swaziland. I can’t wait.

Being here has been hard for me.
We’re officially in Month 7 of The World Race.
We’ve passed the halfway point!
It is really hard to believe.
We are not “new” to this anymore.
Traveling to a different country every month is starting to feel normal.
What is normal, anyway?
Our life is crazy!

We are hitting our mid point in Africa, and we’ve heard that makes it extra hard.
Our time in Tanzania was an incredible month of growth, and I enjoyed the people immensely.
I can see the potential for the same here in Lilongwe.

I just don’t want to be here.
I have to fight myself daily in order to engage with the people here.
Hello, World Race hump…looks like you’ve found me.

I don’t want these feelings to define my month.
I don’t want to go home this summer and look back at my Race and have regrets.

This is just a fact of the Race.
We’ve been away from home for 7 months.
We’ve had limited Internet and to be honest, I miss my family.
I was told from Day 1 that this would happen…that I would feel this way.
I thought it wouldn’t happen to me, though.
**However**
It’s not the same homesickness I faced at the start of the World Race in September.
There is something very different about how this feels.

Future World Racers, I will reiterate this for you.
You will come across this, too.
Don’t assume it won’t happen to you.
You’ll be fine one day, and it’ll sneak up on you.
The truth is…it’s okay to feel this way.
The only thing that matters is what you do with it.
Will you allow yourself to wallow in self-pity and wish away the days? Or will you choose to press into the pain and seek the Lord every day, asking Him to help you through this period of just simply wanting to go home?

I’ll be honest.
I’m tired.
I just want something to be easy for once.
I don’t want to have to fight anymore.
I want air conditioning and FREE WiFi that is strong and available all day long.
I long to curl up on my couch at home with a mug of freshly brewed coffee.
It would be so nice to watch a Twins game and wear my comfy sweatshirt.
I want coffee dates with my friends and all of the ice cream and chocolate and pizza that I can get.
It would be so easy to give up and just go home.
That’s my longing—for comfort and ease.
But honestly, that wouldn’t satisfy me in the end.
I know this.

So I have to keep telling myself:
When I catch myself counting the days until I’m home…
…when I don’t want to get out of bed…
…when I find myself having a pity party…
…to KEEP GOING.
It’s going to be worth it.

Please pray for me and my team and J Squad as we go through this Month 7 hump.

Please pray that we:

  • STAY STRONG
  • SEEK THE LORD with everything we have in us
  • RECEIVE new gifts from the Holy Spirit
  • GROW CLOSER to each other and to the Lord
  • ENTER IN to our ministries
  • FIND FAVOR and are able to spread Jesus’ love wherever we go

Thank you! I LOVE YOU!

<3,
Jess

Your thoughts would look GOOD here :)

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