I have made it to my first country!
It feels absolutely crazy to be here. Except for the fact that I’m currently surrounded by quite a few loud Dominicans, and that I can look outside to the setting sunset and see the fringe of palm trees on the horizon as it sets a beautiful purple and orange that I can only see part of from behind glass windows in the food court…it all feels like some sort of a weird dream so far.
I’ve been up since 3am Central Time…and now half of J Squad is chilling here in the Santo Domingo Airport just waiting for the others to arrive so we can catch a bus tonight “hopefully” around 9 or 10pm to San Juan, where we’ll stay the night and then get picked up by our contacts tomorrow sometime.
It’s been a bit of an adventure so far. And I won’t lie, there have been quite a few tears.
I’ve been learning the ropes of how to be a treasurer. Most of the time I can’t help but wonder why God put me in this position, especially since I’m a writer and am not necessarily the “best” when it comes to money. Yet I can be detail oriented when I need to, and I think as we go along and practice, I’ll get used to this whole World Race budget thing, and it will be okay. It IS okay. It’s an adventure, after all! All I can do through this is laugh and wonder what God is preparing me for 😉 Who knows?!
I’ve also been dealing with QUITE a bit of homesickness. Yes, ALREADY. It took me by surprise, too! I thought I could at least get through the first couple of weeks before I would have a breakdown, but since even before I left on Tuesday for launch in Chicago, I’ve been having a hard time and have been crying a lot. A LOT more than I’ve ever been used to. Tears are not my forte. They make me uncomfortable because I don’t cry often. Actually, I CAN’T cry often. So either this is just a mix of homesickness and leaving and being overwhelmed, or it is actually God breaking my emotions and fixing them, allowing me to feel more and my body to actually get to release the emotions I have inside but can’t get out all of the time.
I’ve definitely been THAT girl this past week. I’ve cried in a couple of airports, in hotel rooms and hallways, and in planes. Haha! It sounds kind of funny but it’s true.
As I step forward into ministry with my team, where a lot is still unknown, I’ve been reminded by my sweet parents that this is where God has me. And my dad gently reminded me that God is most able to work through weak and broken people. Ah, how I want God to use me, but how unworthy and drained and unprepared I feel right now to step into ministry that could be anything at this point. All of the things you know get replaced by that doubt, and that’s when you have to keep reminding yourself that it’s okay to be weak and “not prepared,” because it’s truly the best place to be. It definitely doesn’t FEEL right…it’s doesn’t feel nice at all. It’s hard. But that part of me also knows that God is at work in all of this, creating something beautiful and more amazing than I could imagine. And that’s when I just have to keep walking forward. It’s worth it.
ALLOW God to use you even when you don’t feel like anything.
I’m right there, too. Walking this out. We’ll see what it looks like!
The adventure is just beginning.
So long, Minnesota…so long, comfort…so long, routine…hola, Dominican Republic and all of the growth this month will bring!
I’ll try to post pictures as soon as I get them…but give me a bit of grace as I get settled in my ministry location, figure out all of my duties as treasurer, find WiFi, and what everything looks like. I do know that we have 3 weeks here in the DR and we’ll leave for Haiti on October 1. But that’s all I know, *wink wink*, definitely World Race style :-).
Your prayers have carried me along and they comfort me so much in knowing I have you supporting me in such huge ways back home, both in prayer and financially. I love you all more than I could ever say!